President Obama Feels Bad for the Boys Who Try to Date Malia and Sasha

President Barack Obama’s daughters, Malia and Sasha, are 18 and 15 now, prime dating age. And guys actually do go out with them, Obama said. “That happened, you know?” he told a North Carolina radio station on Friday. “The truth is, I’m pretty relaxed about it for two reasons.

“One is [their mom] Michelle. She’s taught—she’s such a great example of how she carries herself, her self-esteem, not depending on boys to validate how you look or you know, not letting yourself be judged by anything other than your character and intelligence,” he said. “And hopefully I’ve been a good example in terms of how I’ve shown respect to my wife. So I don’t worry about it because they’re really solid, smart girls—young ladies now.”

And anyway, Obama has a fail-safe: “The other reason is because they’ve had Secret Service. There’s only so much these guys can do. These poor young men come by my house and….”

“They have no idea—” the radio host remarked.

“No, they have an idea. I describe for them….” Obama then laughed. Meanwhile, hundreds of miles away, a bunch of hopeful guys shivered.