The Truth about Valentine’s Day

Next Sunday is February 14. That day in which the world celebrates the memory of St Valentine, that day in which Nigerians show the world their bent to accept foreign ideas without reservation and surpass the initiator of such ideas in the execution of same. You have to take your hat off to Nigerians when commemoration allows for frolicking.

That is why on every Valentine’s Day, something happens that makes the previous year’s celebration insignificant. Things seem a bit drab this year though, apparently because of the downturn in the economy. Corporate entities, hurting from the sting of a near prostrate economy have bigger fish to fry this season than feed the indulgences of youths and delinquent adults who have twisted the import of an otherwise sombre event in the celebration of true affection for humanity.

So, this is an unusual year. At least from what I have witnessed of St Valentines days in the past one decade. By now, the air would have been filled with promotions of programmes targeted at ensuring that men and women have their fill of revelries and are modestly safe at savouring their indulgences.

For instance, a couple of years back, a federal university collaborated with one of the biggest banks in the country to “reduce” the incidence of HIV infections during that year’s St Valentine’s Day celebration. They planned an event and made condoms available to students of the institution in abundance such that they could sow their wild oats without the fear of any negative harvests.

That was a totally new one. I could not resist taking a quick reverie back to my days in the university; I came back with no memory of any elaborate celebration of St Valentine’s Day. But things changed progressively. Youths began to get more daring and adventurous towards St Valentine’s Day, they organised activities and gained sponsorships from corporates. To catch the attention of the youth, more and more brands struggle to key in to the Valentine opportunity year in, year out. This is a season that you cannot but notice.

Then of course married people began to join the train. Many a man would have more than a usual dose of “love” on this day, they would treat young, sophisticated girls outside of their homes to some niceties after which those with conscience would go back home and reward the wife with the remnants. Some would get back home and join the wife in condemning those who spend so much time, energy and money on St Valentine’s, pretending like nothing happened earlier on in the day. Some will not even come home at all! It is a day in which people become so many things, some throw morality to the winds; some become momentary hypocrites while some really celebrate love.

I am in envy of couples who go all the way on this day. I have friends who take romantic trips to exotic destinations all over the world, just to be away from the heartbreak that our country has become lately. I know people who make elaborate plans within the country. I no longer have the grace to invest so much energy, resources and time on every February 14. Not after the experience I once had when I tried to follow the fad.

After returning from work the year after I got married, my wife and I thought we should go have dinner somewhere not too far from us in celebration of the day. My God! We got the shock of our lives. Vehicular and human traffic to the destination we chose was incredible. We got there at last, only to be turned back because we made no prior bookings

It was the same situation in another venue nearby. That evening ended up being a very tortuous one for us as we encountered the same horrible traffic on our way home. We got back home from a journey of no accomplishment several hours after we set out totally exasperated. Then, my wife and I reached an accord to wit: save ourselves from this stress in subsequent years and make every waking day Valentine- a celebration of love, in our home.

We also agreed not to wait until February 14 to show love to other people. Anyone who came our way would get a taste of the Almighty’s goodness to us in whatever bit we could afford. We still reckon that the stress and inconvenience that attend the celebration of Valentine’s Day summarily defies the import of the day.

But how many people even bother to find out how the day came about? We are only just taken away by the opportunity to merry and in some instances, engage in debauchery, all of which are antithetical to the essence of the man on whose account the day was set aside, a man whose story I will presently share in bit.

Valentine’s Day is in memory of a Priest who worked against the decision of the Roman Empire to outlaw marriages among soldiers. This was because Emperor Claudius II, who was fighting many wars, wanted a strong army, but a lot of his men did not want to be soldiers.

The Emperor assumed that men refused to join his raids and conquests because they wanted to stay at home to be with their wives and children so he decided to cancel and outlaw all marriages! He reasoned that if men were stopped from getting married, there would be neither woman nor child to distract them from the all-important duty of fighting for the state.

But this Priest felt it was important that men got married. He thought that this would save them from the temptation of living with women without being legally married, a sinful act by his faith. So, he decided to do what he thought was right. He would gather people who were interested in getting married in a secret place, far away from prying soldiers and join them in matrimony. For a while, it was a jolly good ride for him and his accomplices but the day of reckoning came fast. He was soon caught in the act! When Roman soldiers discovered his illegal activities, he was arrested and brought before Emperor Claudius.

The priest made a good impression on the Emperor who thought he was a well-spoken and wise young man. Rather than harm the priest, the big man wanted him to have a rethink about his faith. He encouraged him to stop being a Christian and become a loyal Roman citizen, who would conform to the laws of the land.

But the priest swore that he would never deny his belief refusing all entreaties from the Emperor. He even dared to sell his Christian faith to the almighty Emperor!

The audacity infuriated Claudius and he ordered that the priest be sent to prison until he could be executed. Some accounts claim that while he was in prison, the priest performed a miracle by healing Julia, the blind daughter of his jailer, Asterius. The jailer’s daughter and his 44-member household were said to have been converted and baptised into Christianity. Before his execution, the priest was also said to have written letters to his close friends coveting their prayers and signing these letter by writing “Remember your Valentine.” This good priest was believed to have been executed on the 14th or the 24th of February in the year 269 A.D or 270. A.D. Some two centuries later, around 498 A.D, Pope Gelasius declared February 14 as a church sanctioned holiday in honour of a man who was martyred for the protection of the sanctity of holy matrimony. It is an irony that this is the same institution that we go the extra effort to put in jeopardy while commemorating the priest’s memory!

So what to do on Valentine’s Day?

Spare a thought for someone; find time to pray that we will continue to understand the importance of happy, peaceful family units to the overall welfare of our society and our world; make those with whom God has blessed you happy and say a prayer that every soul in need finds someone to love. That, is the real spirit of lovers’ day, it is the thing that our world gravely needs.